Glee Club Smarties™

AMAZING TALES OF DANFORTH AND RABEENA: Cows for Christmas by JEFFREY ERIC FUNK. Things are quite strange over at Danforth & Rabeena’s house. This Christmas, they’re dealing with cows and leprechauns. Not to worry though; Olivia the maid is fully prepared for her “cow poop cleaning duties.” Get your copy of Amazing Tales of Danforth and Rabeena: Cows for Christmas today!

From the creator of Glee Club Smarties™ comes

AMAZING TALES OF DANFORTH AND RABEENA: Cows for Christmas

On Christmas Eve, Oliva the Maid must clean windows, dodge leprechauns and rescue the family cat while everybody in the house watches from the family room by the fireplace.

With the help of Grayson the Butler, Danforth contends with a gang of escaped cows whose misconduct is accounted for with lots of nasty details. And Santa Claus makes a memorable entrance in this unusual story of adventure and Christmas wonder.

Elephant guns…

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Jeff Funk Erotica

READ my dirty little gay erotic books for FREE with #kindleunlimited  #prime · http://jefffunk.com ★ Shop http://amazon.com/author/jefffunk

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It’s Raining Reindeer is a story told in the form of a song about an unfortunate mishap with Santa’s sleigh. With toys scattered everywhere and elves falling through the air, will Santa be able to deliver all the toys in time? Related Audio: Glee Club Smarties™ Christmas album. Related Songbooks: Christmas Songbook and Easy Piano.

IT’S RAINING REINDEER

The forecast for Christmas
Called for sleet and rain
The reindeer were sick
They cancelled all the reindeer games
Santa kinda worried
But the reindeer said they’re fine
They thought they could deliver
All the toys in time…

That night: Fog Alert!
Bad weather around the Earth
The sleigh started to sway
As the reindeer powers began to fade

It’s raining reindeer,
Downpouring reindeer,
Just sloshin’ reindeer
Look out!
Uh uh-huh
Ho! Ho! Ho! Oh no!
Woh yeah
Oo, woh oop!

Dive-bombin’ Donner
Has a look of fright Rudolph is fallin’
But his nose is still bright
Prancer’s hooves got
Stuck in the mud
When Santa falls
We’ll hear a loud thud!

Has anyone seen anything of Blitzen?
Dasher just landed near
The window in the kitchen
Cupid’s warming up in
Front of the fire
The rest got caught in
Telephone wires

Toys scattered everywhere;
Elves falling through the air
Santa’s slippin’ on the ice
He lost his list of the
Naughty and Nice

It’s raining reindeer,
Downpouring reindeer,
Just sloshin’ reindeer
Look out!

Santa and his elves were
Quite understanding
They didn’t seem to worry
’Bout the slight crash landing
Santa waved his hands
And the magic made it right
The deer were good to go
For the rest of the night

’Twas raining reindeer,
Downpouring reindeer,
Just sloshin’ reindeer
Tonight!
Just a slight delay
Santa’s on his way!

*Lyric sheet provided by author/publisher and is used by permission. Published by Whisper the Name Jeff Funk. All rights reserved.

Available Instantly from Amazon

KINDLE EDITION
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PAPERBACK
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AUDIO
MP3 Album and Audio CD

POEMS & DRAWINGS

It’s Raining Reindeer Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Christmas Album · Christmas Audio CD

Libretto Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Libretto Encore Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

SONGBOOKS

Songbook #1 Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Songbook #2 Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Songbook #3 Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD 

Songbook #4 Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Christmas Songbook Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD 

Girls Can Sing! Songbook Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Musical Concept Songbook Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Glee Club Smarties™ Complete Songbook Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

EASY PIANO

Easy Piano #1 Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Easy Piano #2 Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Easy Piano #3 Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD 

Easy Piano #4 Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Christmas Easy Piano Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD 

Girls Can Sing! Easy Piano Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

Musical Concept Easy Piano Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

CHORAL

Caged Bird SATB Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

I Swing the Eighth Notes, Therefore I Am SATB Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 · Audio CD

The Majesty and the Power SATB Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 Album · Audio CD

LULLABY

Music of My Dreams Paperback · Kindle Edition · MP3 · Audio CD

FOLLOW

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jefffunkmusic:

From Glee Club Smarties™ comes a lullaby, Music of My Dreams sheet music for Easy Piano and Songbook Edition. With big notes and simple rhythms, this sheet music is arranged for beginning piano playing success! Optimized for all devices, this Kindle edition includes engraved melody-oriented sheet music that will appeal to beginning piano players. 

MUSIC OF MY DREAMS 

Just past midnight, while I sleep 
A song drifts through my mind 
As the moonlight bathes the sea 
I hear a lullaby 
Such sweetly blending beauty 
Hear the angels sing 

And I woke softly, pausing then 
To hear the music of my dreams 
Gentle harps and whistling flutes 
Play on and on in my dreams 

While the night wind cools my room 
I search my memory 
And hear a phantom serenade 
Of haunting melody 
Just listen, join me as we 
Journey to the dawn 

And I woke softly, pausing then 
To hear the music of my dreams 
Gentle harps and whistling flutes 
Play on and on in my dreams 

I dream of sun-bright ocean skies 
And I hear mighty waves 
Whispering their evening song 
Proud music of the storm 

Music, the music of my dreams 
Only, I can hear it 
Calling me, guiding me home 
And I will always hear the song 
Play on and on in my dreams 
Play on and on in my dreams 

*Lyric sheet provided by the author/publisher and is used by permission. 

This Kindle Edition sheet music is optimized for all devices and reading apps with the ability to zoom for a closer look. Formats available include: printed sheet music, Kindle Edition Digital Sheet Music, MP3 Audio Download from the MP3 store and CD.

AVAILABLE INSTANTLY FROM AMAZON

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PAPERBACK
Amazon.com · Amazon.co.uk · Amazon.de · Amazon.fr · Amazon.es · Amazon.it · Amazon.in

AUDIO
MP3 Single and Audio CD

MIDNIGHT READER by JEFF FUNK

MIDNIGHT READER (Twelve Erotic Tales) collection includes the first four books of the Midnight Reader series: Bad Boy, Curious, Rascal & Stranger. Twelve o’clock. Twelve erotic tales intended for mature readers.

STEAM BATH edited by Shane Allison

Steam Bath edited by Shane Allison published by Cleis Press is in stores now—sweaty gay erotica—and the story I contributed is possibly the dirtiest I’ve ever written called “Easy Dick.” Bon appétit!

Posted: July 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

Steam Bath edited by Shane Allison published by Cleis Press is in stores now—sweaty gay erotica—and the story I contributed is possibly the dirtiest I’ve ever written called “Easy Dick.” Bon appétit!

Posted: June 16, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I SWING THE EIGHTH NOTES, THEREFORE I AM [Kindle Edition] (choral with parts for rhythm section)

The Jazz Age is the rage. And now I Swing the Eighth Notes, Therefore I Am [Kindle Edition] sheet music is a click away! —JF

I SWING THE EIGHTH NOTES, THEREFORE I AM

by Jeff Funk

Well you know that dude who was really smart—
He came from France and his name was Descartes
He sat and thought like no other man and said,
“I think, therefore I am.”

Did you know that Descartes had a brother
Who play jazz like no other? He said,
“I swing the eighth notes just as fast as I can…
I swing the eighth notes, therefore I am.”

I swing the eighth notes, therefore I am
If you don’t swing your eighth notes,
You jazzy tunes just won’t jam
‘Coz when you play jazz you gotta play by the rules
‘Coz the people who don’t swing ‘em are the people who ain’t cool

Descartes’ brother, he had a name
That went down in the hall of fame
His first name was “Doo”
His last name was “Bop”
He had a middle initial of “S” that stood for “Shoo-bie Doo-bie Bop”

BREAKAWAY (solos ad lib.)

Doo doo Shoo-bie Doo-bie Bop, baby.
Doot doot
Doot doot
Doo doo Shoo-bie Doo-bie Bop, baby.
Doot doot
Doot doot
I swing the eighth notes, therefore I am.

CHORUS

Published by WHISPER THE NAME JEFF FUNK (ASCAP). All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

AVAILABLE INSTANTLY FROM AMAZON

KINDLE EDITION
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PRINT EDITION
Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.de, Amazon.fr, Amazon.es, Amazon.it, Amazon.inBarnes & Noble, Book-A-Million, IndieBound, Baker & Taylor

AUDIO
MP3 Album and Audio CD

Posted: May 31, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

THE MAJESTY AND THE POWER [Kindle Edition] (choral)

AVAILABLE INSTANTLY FROM AMAZON

The Majesty and the Power is an inspirational anthem for S.A.T.B. voices and piano written and composed by Jeffrey Eric Funk ideal for community choirs or sacred services.

KINDLE EDITION
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PRINT EDITION
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AUDIO
MP3 Album and Audio CD

Posted: May 31, 2013 in Uncategorized

CAGED BIRD [Kindle Edition] (choral)

AVAILABLE INSTANTLY FROM AMAZON

Caged Bird is a gospel rock choral work for S.A.T.B Voices Accompanied with opportunities for feature soloists written by Jeffrey Eric Funk. If you’re looking for a song to fire up the audience, you’ve found it!

KINDLE EDITION
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PRINT EDITION
Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.de, Amazon.fr, Amazon.es, Amazon.it, Amazon.in

AUDIO
MP3 Album and Audio CD

From the Author of Glee Club Smarties™ comes 
 
AMAZING TALES OF DANFORTH AND RABEENA: Cows for Christmas 
 
On Christmas Eve, Oliva the Maid must clean windows, dodge leprechauns and rescue the family cat while everybody in the house watches from the family room by the fireplace.  
 
With the help of Grayson the Butler, Danforth contends with a gang of escaped cows whose misconduct is accounted for with lots of nasty details. And Santa Claus makes a memorable entrance in this unusual story of adventure and Christmas wonder.  
 
Elephant guns, foggy mishaps and other harrowing ordeals are gathered in this weathered journal you’re now holding. Grab your bookmark and cozy into Amazing Tales of Danforth and Rabeena: Cows for Christmas.

Black & White on Cream Paper
Page Count: 46 pages
ISBN-10: 1494475219 
BISAC: Juvenile Fiction / Humorous Stories

KINDLE US, UK, DE, ES, FR, IT, JP, IN, CA, BR, MX, AU
PAPERBACK US, UK, DE, ES, FR, IT, IN
AUDIOBOOK unabridged Audible & Amazon

fxmidmag500

Flipboard enthusiasts, try thumbing through my Midnight Reader magazine! Articles on pulp fiction, crime novels, erotica, consciousness, sex & culture. Flip me! — JF